Tag Archives: encouragement

You Are Never Too Old to Try Something New-Skydiving with My Grandmother

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Tuesday will be a day I will never forget. A day filled with adventure, friendship and inspiration. Inspiration provided by my eighty-six year old grandmother, Gammy, who continues to surprise me with her resilience, endurance and her energy.

Gammy has been living with us since the beginning of July and at the beginning of the summer I made a promise to her of a summer she would never forget-The Summer of Adventure. She loves to be “on the go.” Seeing new things, meeting new people and going out to eat are some of her favorite things to do and I have affectionately hashtagged our adventures as #gammyonthego.

We have chanted “Gammy on the Go! Gammy on the Go!” on our way to visit mansions in Newport, RI, chasing sunsets to gorgeous views, and road tripping to NY. Most of all, I think we have enjoyed the good company of family and friends and getting to know each other better by living life under the same roof. My kids and I have been blessed by this time we have had with her. I have heard stories never heard before and we both have been stretched and grown in different ways. I am trying to take it all in as I have become increasingly aware of not knowing how much more time we have with each other here on earth.

We arrived at Skydive Pepperill  under gorgeous, clear blue skies. A warm breeze was blowing the various flags decorating the Skydive Center and skydivers with colorful parachutes were gracefully landing with expertise in a large, adjoining field. Three other fun-loving, adventurous souls from our church family were jumping with us and some other church members had come to watch. The whole experience was made even better with them there and I was again reminded how much I love my church. The relationships that have built over the ten years at Centerpoint have become some of the most treasured relationships in my life. When it comes down to life, it really is all about relationships. Relationship with Jesus, with your family, with your friends. Relationships and trust take time to grow, through good times and hard times, but it is so worth the time put in. Life is better with good people around you and we have a whole church filled with good (FUN) people.

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I could try to describe our experience. The multiple-page waiver we had to sign, the video that stresses multiple times how you could die, the gear, the plane, the 45 second freefall, and the landing BUT a picture is worth a thousand words. So….here are some pictures and the “most awesome video in the whole world” to take you on our adventure with us.

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Our Skydiving Declarations
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Gearing UP
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Walking Up To The Plane

 

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The Queen of Skydiving

 

The plane

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In the Plane
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At the Door
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Free Fallin’

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The Coolest Grandmother in the Whole World
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Parachutes Deployed
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The Landing. Look at Gammy’s legs. They are in perfect position, better than the instructional video.
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Our Instructors- Vinny and Keith

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PS The record for the oldest female jumper at this center was 94. Gammy said we will be back on her 95th birthday (if not sooner.) I hope that am half of what she is when I am 86. So incredibly blessed!

 

You Two Remind Me of That Couple…..

 

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With all the advancements in technology, I find it hard to believe no one has invented a more comfortable and less awkward way of taking dental x-rays. I am not talking about film versus digital or the actual x-ray machine used. I am talking about the “bite-wing-bit-block.” You know, the extremely intrusive and sharp plastic objects strategically placed in your mouth by a stranger who then directs you to “bite down and hold.”

Until today, I had been on a two year hiatus from dental care. I know, I know. I should have been to the dentist every six months but whatever…life happens. The more important thing was I was back in the chair, wishing the x-rays were over, dreading the news of how many cavities needed to be filled, and preparing myself to hear how I should floss more often. My husband (who had been on a longer hiatus than me…just saying) was talking with the dentist. We had decided to schedule our appointments together, one right after the other. He had gone first and now was in the x-ray room saying goodbye to me and bragging reporting that he had no cavities.

The dental hygienist, a pretty woman in her late twenties, came into the x-ray room and led me down the hall. Once seated in the chair, she instructed me to open my mouth and stuck the suction-straw-thingy that hangs out of your mouth. I think my kid’s dentist refers to this tool as “Mr.Thirsty.”  As she worked, she began to share with me about her life and ask questions about mine. I mumbled back and shook my head “yes” and “no.” Amazingly, she understood my incomprehensible syllables and sounds.

The cleaning and exam continued and she continued to share. I continued to mumble. This pattern continued for awhile. Some of the details she shared were very personal and private. She had recently been through some dark times in her life. A single mother, trying to make her life better for herself and her son. There was an incredible sense of sadness and exhaustion about her.

As she talked, I wish I could be free to speak without all the “stuff” in my mouth. To touch anything besides the chair and the cup they give you, seemed off-limits. But as she talked, I felt moved and could not be silent any longer. I don’t remember exactly what she said but I knew she needed some encouragement. So when she went to clean my top teeth, I stopped her. I defiantly closed my mouth, yanked Mr. Thirsty out and started to ask her deeper questions about her life. Amazingly, she answered them. She listened to my advice and I tried to encourage her without seeming to like a counselor. She seemed a bit surprised by all of it but at ease and I felt some peace seep into the air. By the end of the exam, we were good friends.

“You know,” she said. “It’s funny to meet you and your husband on the same day. You remind me of that couple on TV…..you know the Fixer Upper couple. You both are so cute. You seem so happy and…well, like you have the perfect life.” 

Oh, my sweet girl! Bless you for the compliment! Joanna Gaines is beautiful and I love her style. Yes, we are very happy but we are far from perfect. There are a few things you need to know.

I cannot speak for the Gaines. I can only infer they might agree with me. There are some similarities between us.The Gaines have a reality TV show, sometimes our life feels like a reality TV show. The Gaines are in the business of seeing the potential in “fixer-upper” houses, we are in the business of seeing potential in “fixer-upper” people. We are not perfect couples. We are not perfect people. We both have faith in Jesus Christ and He is the only thing perfect in our lives.

Everyone goes through dark times in their lives. Everyone experiences trials, temptations, consequences of poor decisions and challenges. Each one of us is navigating through life, have hopes and dreams and wants to be loved.

Sweet girl, the difference is we have found peace in Jesus-perfect peace. We walk through the dark times with The Light. We are loved beyond measure and rely on Someone greater than ourselves for strength. Jesus is “fixing-us-up” daily. As he “fixes” us, we hope others can see Him. Light, love, hope, restoration, and peace (all to God’s glory not our own.) Our smiles are wide and bright not because everything is perfect or we have great hygienists, we smile because we have been redeemed by the blood and love of Jesus. And that my friend, is worth more than anything the world could ever give you.

PS One more thing sweet girl, (yes, I can call you that since you are ten years younger than me. Thank you for referring to me as your age and I am sorry I did not correct you right away! That was wrong but I still feel like I am 28 in my head!) I will be praying for you and I will see you in six months. The appointment is booked but I believe it was booked a long time ago before we both knew it. There is a God who loves you and is perusing you. xo

 

August Scripture Reading and Writing Calendar with Reflection Questions

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August Scripture Reading and Writing Calendar

July’s Scripture Writing Plan focused on God’s movement in our lives. The idea was to set aside ten minutes a day, copy the scripture and circle the verbs found within the passage. Using the daily word as a prayer focus, I hoped we would ask God to help us recognize His activity in our lives and journal our reflections.

Each morning,  I tried to slip away to a quiet place to open the Word of God. This worked best when the kids seemed occupied or when I turned on the TV to occupy them (just keeping it real…sometimes you got to do what you got to do.) Some days I was more successful at this than others, but on the days when I was able to give my complete attention to God, His Word and His voice, I felt the time spent prepared my heart and mind for the day’s constant barrage of requests and demands thrown at me. I noticed my reactions to other people seemed more gracious. I said “yes” more than “no.” I was less distracted with social media and more aware of relationships. Heavenly, eternal things seemed way more important than the earthly, fleeting things. I was filled with peace and joy. Don’t get me wrong, life was not perfect, easy or without challenges. There were still trials and life to work through but how I approached those challenges was different. I found myself prompted to rely on the LORD’s strength and reflecting on the words I was hiding in my heart and mind.

Growing up, my dad always said, “Garbage in, garbage out.” I have always remembered that phrase (see Dad, I was listening.) I do not think we give enough thought to what we are filling our ears, eyes, heart, mind and even our mouths with. What we allow in our lives will shape and mold us and eventually those things will impact the way we think, speak, act and respond. This month (and every month), I am choosing “Truth in, Good out.”

The August Scripture Reading and Writing Calendar contains scriptures that refer to our reactions to God. For deeper reflection, I have included question for each passage. My hope and prayer is for you to join me as we dig into the scriptures and ask God to align our reactions to His word.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8

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Lessons From a Gorse Bush

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I have sat down to write for days but everything I write seems meaningless compared to my lengthy prayer list.  A list filled with situations riddled with suffering, grief and pain. Intercessory prayers for people close to my heart who are experiencing the hard reality of life. Stark reminders that life is precious and difficult.

My heart is also heavy and broken for my fellow Americans. We share a human condition, a need for love and live within the borders of a country that claims liberty and justice for all. Yet unbelievable, indescribable crimes continue to be committed against innocent people. Sometimes there are no words, no easy answers. When the future seems scary and the state of our soul seems hopeless, when our hearts are perplexed, discouraged, and despaired, there is something we can do. We can respond and our response will define us.

There is a spiky, flowering evergreen bush native to the coastlines and wastelands of western Europe called a gorse plant. These plants are masters of adapting to their environment. They can withstand sun, drought and even fire. Fire which may initially burn the plant down but not destroy it. Their stalks quickly regenerate and the heat of fire can stimulate their hard seed pods to pop open and begin new life.

Like the gorse bush, we must fearlessly continue to thrive in the environment we have been rooted in. We do not stop growing or blossoming because our surroundings have become rocky, stormy or fiery. Our children, the next generation, are watching how we respond to difficulties. We are modeling (sometimes unknowingly) what to say, how to act, where to turn, and how to pray. With the Lord’s help, we must build in them a sense of confidence and courage in Christ. Confidence in no matter what is happening, God is still in control. We must cultivate a place where they can draw from, a place of fertile faith and new hope, so when the fires of uncertainty and tragedy come they might feel burned but never destroyed.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.  –Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

The conifer leaves of the gorse bush are spiky and spiny. Over time, the leaves harden into long, sharp thorns. Yet out of these hardy stalks and pointy thorns comes life. In springtime, fuzzy little buds start to appear and eventually bloom into glorious yellow bursts. Their fragrant blossoms smell of sweet coconut attracting bees and animals to its thorny retreat. The plant becomes a safe haven for birds and animals who find protection among the spikes.

It can be hard to see good in terrible situations but I urge you to look beyond the spikes and spines to find small specks of yellow hope. Do not let times of uncertainty and suffering harden our hearts. Instead of getting caught up in disagreements, let’s find things we have in common. Trade arguments for prayers and disagreements for love.

You may have had to walk through a period of grief and suffering, I would encourage you to be brave and think back to how you felt during the process. Use memories and forgotten feelings as a catalyst of sympathy and empathy. Ask the Lord for a compassionate heart. Be a doer and a helper. Sometimes that may mean sitting in silence, holding the hand of a grieving person, and praying for them when they cannot find the words to pray for themselves. Be a safe haven for people. Invite them to come and see the true Hope. The One who knows more about selfless suffering than any person could ever experience and know. The only One who can bring true peace to our hearts.

 I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.  John 16:33  (ESV)

 

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Gorse Leaves and Flower Buds

 

So, let our responses be sweet smelling among the tough, hard moments of life. Model, pray, love, and believe.  Be patient and do not lose hope. For our responses now will define us later and pave a way for the next generation.

 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.  Romans 8:24-25 (ESV)

Kindness ROCKS

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Keep your eyes open and you might find one! Love, peace, joy, or a smile! The kids and I have been inspired to spread kindness in the shape of rocks. Following the example of the following four organizations, I bought five bags of black river rocks (at the dollar store.) We painted hearts, rainbows, crosses, smiley faces, and other things that might make one smile and we have been hiding them all over our town.

Our hope is that each rock is found at the perfect moment and it will bring a smile to the finder’s face. If you do find one, we would love to hear about it! We would love to know what happened to the rocks after we left it somewhere.

Check out these beautiful stories of others who are spreading joy and kindness one rock at a time.

Love Rocks  (A beautiful, courageous story of how one family is overcoming loss and grief with love and joy!)

The Kindness Rocks Project

Word Rocks

The Rainbow Rock Project (A story that tells you are never to young to make a difference!)

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To Oz and Back

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On Sunday, I was joking with a friend about how crazy and busy last week was. There were church meetings to attend, our last MOPS meeting to run, a local MOPS Leadership Training to facilitate. Add those things to the regular housework, homeschooling, and everyday tasks and I felt like Dorothy Gale from the Wizard of Oz. Picked up by a tornado on Monday, whipped and whirled through the week, crash landing in the weekend, and wondering how I got there. But instead of Dorothy’s wide-eyed wonder as she explored the beauty and splendor of the new place she had just arrived, I felt more like the Wicked Witch of the East, flattened and lifeless by a week of events the size of a house.

After these big weeks and big events, I can get really good at self-criticizing and critiquing all the things that did not go as I had expected, analyzing things I said or didn’t say, and overthinking people’s reactions. Over the years, I have been able to recognize these tendencies in myself and have tried to implement a few ways to guard my heart and my mind. Like the water splashed on the Wicked Witch of the West, I have learned to throw “water” onto my own negative thoughts, insecurities, and doubts to shrink them down to a nonthreatening size.

When I find myself on the other side of the “rainbow,”  I……

Celebrate:  

I treat myself to a cup of coffee and a sweet treat and celebrate what has just happened. I think about all the good work that was accomplished, the people who came alongside to help get it done, and the strength and energy that God gave me to finish what needed to be completed. Instead of thinking about all the things that did not go as expected, I celebrate the unexpected things, the surprises along the way and the opportunities I was given to love and serve others. Leading up to an event, I spend hours in prayer. An equal amount of time should be spent devoted to praise and with a posture of gratitude when the event is over.

We ought not to leap in prayer and limp in praise. -Charles Spurgeon  

 

Rest:

To be honest, this is probably the most difficult of the three things for me to do. It takes time for my adrenaline infused body time to calm down, be at peace, and rest without movement. I usually have to push away feeling of guiltiness that come around to remind me about the laundry needing folding or the dishes needing to be washed and put away. But here is the thing, there will always be a thousand things to do.

Rest is not selfish but it is necessary and especially vital after a busy week. Rest is needed to restore and refresh our hearts, minds and spirits. The Bible speaks of rest in many places and God’s gift of Sabbath gives us permission to rest, even when all of our work is still unfinished.

“It’s best to give myself a few days to rest and replenish emotionally and spiritually before I delve into reviewing a ministry event I just led or a speaking engagement I’ve just completed”

Jodi Detrick, The Jesus-Hearted Woman

Notice Goodness: 

There is always good to be found. Always.

Only after I have celebrated and rested, I feel as if my emotions and thoughts are clear enough to start to evaluate and review the busy week or big event. I ask myself: What went well? What needs to change? How can I do things more effectively? Who can I bring in to help?

I have some very special people in my life who I trust wholeheartedly and know they have my best interests at heart. I will often debrief my week/event and share with them my thoughts and perceptions. I trust them to give me honest feedback and advice.. Sometimes,  what I hear is not all rosy and a pat on the back. I appreciate the constructive criticism my people offer because I know that they want to see me grow in my faith, leadership, and as a person. In her book, The Jesus-Hearted Woman, Jodi Detrick says, “There are times when we need a rebuke even more than we need a compliment.”

Goodness makes greatness truly valuable, and greatness makes goodness much more serviceable.- Matthew Henry

Whether you find yourself in Kansas or in Oz, walking the yellow brick road or the halls of a church, falling asleep in a field of poppies or on the living room couch, know that you are enough. Keep going, step by step, and allow friends to come alongside you on what every journey you find yourself on. Rest when you can and know that you can always go “home” when ever you want. There is no better place then home. Well, expect maybe home with a short list of things to do. 🙂

 

 

Throw Kindness Around Like Confetti

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On Tuesday, I celebrated my thirty-eighth birthday with the police and fire department, complete strangers, and Bob Goff.

I love birthdays and everything that comes with them.  Crepe paper, confetti, cake, gifts, and surprises. I once flew 3,000 miles to an Olive Garden in Rhode Island to surprise my dad on his birthday. The look on his surprised astonished face will never be forgotten and I loved playing my part in the surprise. But on the morning of my birthday, I wasn’t very excited about the day. It wasn’t the fact of being a year older that upset me. It was the mountainous list of things to complete looming over my head. If only I could get through the list, then I could relax, rest and celebrate. The idea of giving preference to checking off my to-do list instead of celebrating my birthday straight up annoyed me.

My lousy mood and to-do list tackling was divinely interrupted by my parents calling to sing me Happy Birthday.  After their sweet song, they asked me how I was going to spend the day.

“Well,” I said. “I have a lot to do. There is this and that and so I just have to plan on celebrating after this week is over. I just have so much to do.”

As I heard the words coming from my mouth, I felt like I was betraying my true self. Who was speaking? I know my parents must have been thinking that too but my mom politely said something to the point that I was serving other people and working on my birthday and that was a good thing.  I felt disappointed.  I paused, prayed and thought. Was a completed to-do list really worth missing the day that I usually love and look forward to? If I did not have a list of things to do, how would I be spending my birthday?  What would I want?

I knew that I did not want any more material things. I already had everything I needed and more. I thought about the things that make me happy. Jesus, my family, my church family, MOPS, people, my community. I thought about the things that that I am good at. The plan started to take shape. I love those videos where people surprise a random stranger with a gift card, word of encouragement or kind action. That is what I wanted to do. I wanted to spread kindness through the community with surprises for people I know and random strangers who God knows.

Five years ago, I might have thought this was a crazy idea. But hey, call me crazy! Crazy about Jesus and crazy about loving people!  The idea ignited so much excitement that I literally pushed my to-do list aside, ripped a new piece of paper from the notepad and started scribbling a new list. A new list with thirty-eight kind actions, one action for every year I have been on this earth. With new list in hand and a changed attitude, I was ready to celebrate….celebrate with confetti made out of kindness.

Before we go any further, please note that my intention of sharing this post is not to gain attention to myself or to brag about good deeds. Or to make you feel guilty. Many birthdays I have spent on me and just me. We all need those days.  My prayer and hope of sharing this post is to make you smile and inspire you to spread love and kindness in a way that you can give. Kindness comes in many shapes and sizes and does not look the same; but kindness will always be a blessing to those who receive it.

38 Acts of Kindness

1.) Called Bob Goff.  One of my acts of kindness was to write a favorite author and thank him/her for their work. I had just finished reading Love Does  (AGAIN!!) and remembered that Bob put his phone number in the back of the book. Why not call him instead of writing ? I mean who would really put their phone number in the back of a best-selling book.  I dialed, the phone rang but a recorded message came on stating I missed Bob and I could reach him by email. I wasn’t prepared to write his email address down and had to call again to make sure I had remembered what I heard correctly.  The phone rang again, and again, and then Bob Goff actually answered!! That’s right! He’s the real deal!! I told him it was my birthday and how I was going to spend it and then I asked him if he could give me some advice on kindness. He directed me to Matthew 25: 31-46, specifically verse 35.

“For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.”

He told me a great place to start spreading kindness is to look for people who are hungry, thirsty, strangers, sick people, and prisoners. When we share kindness with them, we are experiencing Jesus. I thanked him for the advice, thanked him for his book and what he is doing for God. He wished me a Happy Birthday and told me he was just about to get on a plane. And that was that. He was off to go inspire another group of people and point them to Jesus and I felt charged and ready to do the same.  Hope its was a good flight, Bob!

 

 

2.) Wrote a thank you letter to our mailman and leave it in the mailbox with the flag up.  The kids were looking out the window when the mailman came to deliver the mail and we spied on him as he reached into the mailbox to grab the letter for HIM!  We couldn’t see his face. But we saw him take it, pause a moment and then turn it over before he drove away. I hope it blessed his day!

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3.) Sent a card to my mom on my birthday.

4.) Told people that I loved them.

5.) Called off homeschool and built a “Kindness Crew.” I enlisted the help of my kids with this day of kindness. They helped me write cards and cut out compliments to leave on cars in parking lots. This day turned out better than a school day would have been. As we were out and searching for people who needed encouragement, I noticed that they were becoming more aware of their surrounding and looking at the world with a hightened sense of compassion. They became just as excited as I was when we were able to bless someone.

6.) Complimented the sample lady at the grocery store and bought what she was selling. It is hard to be a sales person!

7) Delivered flowers to an amazing mom, mentor to many, and a Godly woman!

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8.) Paid for the car behind me in the Dunkin’ Donuts line.

9.) Paid for the car, behind the car, behind me in the Dunkin’ Donuts line.

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10.) Brought a dozen donuts and thank you note to the fire department.  Our fire department is amazing! The firemen brought us through to the garage and let the kids climb in the fire truck and use the water hose. Sometimes acts of kindness are returned with an act of kindness.

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11.) Delivered flowers to another amazing mom who we surprised at work! This mom is a mentor to me and has prayed over me and with me for many years. She has also gently helped me say no to things and supported me through many things. She is just amazing and I love her! It was time for me to bless her.

12.) Delivered a dozen donuts and thank you note to the police station. 

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13.) Prayed for the people in jail while we sat in the police station parking lot. I talked to the kids about choices, mercy and forgiveness.  It was a deep little moment in the back of our mini van.

14.) Gave flowers to a random stranger. I was driving by the Salvation Army Store when I saw a woman exit the door, I felt like she needed flowers. So I whipped into the parking lot but by the time I had parked, she was already in her car. That did not matter to me. I walked up to her car, knocked on her window. The window rolled down slowly, I held out the flowers and told her I wanted her to have them. She looked really confused and most likely was questioning if I had lost my mind (it was awesome!) I reassured her that I was not crazy just out spreading kindness and she needed some today. She brightened up and was really happy by the time we said our goodbyes. I wonder where she was off to and what she was dealing with that day.

15.) Held doors for people.

16.) Put post-it notes on the diaper changing table at Target so when a mom goes to change her baby’s diaper she will see how awesome she is!

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17.)Bought five Starbucks gift cards. Searched Target for a moms to give the cards to. The kids were really good at this. We listened for crying and tantrums and steered the cart in that direction. First card given to a mom with a baby.

18.)  Gave another Starbucks card to a mom with toddler. She was very appreciative.

19.) We left a few dollars in the bins of the dollar spot section of Target.

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20.) There was a lost lady walking around the parking lot looking for her car. I gave a card of encouragement just before she found her car.

21.) Put note on a windshield of the car parked in front of us.

22.) Went to the grocery store to search for more moms with cranky kids. Gave Starbucks Card #3 to a mom of two boys.

23.) Gave Starbucks Card #4 to a mom with toddler and baby.

24.) Gave the sun some encouragement. It was a hot day and standing by the road and waving in a giant sun costume is hard work! So I pulled over, walked over to her and told her she was doing a great job. I wish I had a bottle of water to give. Next time, I will be more prepared.

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25.)We purposely smiled at people.

26.) We helped picked up things that fell onto the floor of the grocery store.

27.) The kids and I bought food to be added to food baskets given to families in need.

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28.) Left lottery tickets on the gas pump and stayed around to watch who would take them. We sat and watched for a good thirty minutes, cars came and went, and everyone left the tickets where they were. We must have a lot of honest people in the community who do not take things that do not belong to them.

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29-33.) Left notes of encouragement on five more cars.

34.) We took time to stop and talk with church members who we ran into while we were out.

35.) I offered to help a women on the crutches. She refused but at least I offered.

36.) Met a friend for dinner.

37-38.)  We ran out of time to do the last two acts of kindness but we plan to put the rest of the cards on parked cars and in random library books at the library.
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It was an absolutely wonderful, exhausting day!  My heart was filled beyond capacity and I felt at peace. An amazing contrast to the way my day started. Turns out that there were things on my to-do list that could wait. They were still there when I woke up on Wednesday morning but I was better prepared to conquer the list with a new, refreshed heart. You never are too busy to celebrate.

One last thing, a birthday blessing for me!!!  During the day, I was searching for something in a forgotten pocket of my purse. My hand hit a small, scroll like object. I pulled it out and unrolled a birthday surprise. I had completely forgotten about this piece of paper. I had pulled it out of a fish bowl filled with random compliments at MOMcon (MOPS International’s Leadership Conference.)  I thought it was a good word at the time. BUT to rediscover the smallest paper, in a pocket I forgotten existed, on a day when my purpose and intention was spreading kindness, was more than a coincidence to me. It was reminder and confirmation of the love and kindness and the reason why all these acts were done in the first place. Not for me, but for Him. The most kindest, loving One who all hope and mercy comes from. I am just a humble servant trying to follow directions. 🙂

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WONDER-FULL Wednesday-The Valley of Grief

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The two people who would have gotten the biggest kick out of this summer hiking adventure are not around for me to tell it to. They were two of my biggest cheerleaders. They always had time for me and loved me with the type of love that instills courage, dreams and confidence.

My grandfather, Baba, was one of the most gentlest, kindliest, intelligent people that I had the privileged to know. He was a chemist, teacher and inventor. His thirst for knowledge was quenched at the library where he was found on a daily basis. And if he couldn’t make it to the library in person, he reached them by phone. He was always researching something and had a questions for the reference desk. Baba was adventurous and fun.  He took us on family mystery rides, taught us all the words to “I’ve Got a Lovely Bunch Coconuts”, and watched Cindafella more times that I can remember. I think he passed on his love of PBS to me and whenever I watch Masterpiece Theater, I pretend that he is sitting right next to me with a big bowl of air popped popcorn.(Sorry Baba, I put a lot of salt AND butter on mine.) My grandfather had a country-western DJ company, was the president of his writing club, and was always on the look out for a new project. He approached failure as a challenge to succeed. He left a legacy of education, perseverance, gentle and kind words, mystery and adventure.

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My aunt was beautiful inside and out. She was creative and loved art, poetry and books. Like my grandfather, she was a teacher. Auntie had her degree in education and was a personal trainer. In the 90s, she made a few exercise videos rocking colorful,spandex exercise clothing. She dabbled in modeling too. Auntie was fun and had a great sense of humor. She loved Seinfeld and Toy Story. I can still hear her laugh and see her smile. She was one of those people who came alongside you. Celebrated with you, cried with you, laughed with you, encouraged you. Oh, she was such an encourager! And a leader! People loved to be with her. My aunt was also a courageous fighter. She fought cancer for many years. At the end of her life, she kept her wit, humor and grace until she could no longer speak or write. She never complained to me and always managed to give me a smile.

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Tomorrow marks a day of remembrance. Ten years have passed since Auntie’s passing and some days my grief is as raw and real as it was then. I think grief is like that. No right or wrong way to work through it. It pulls me back through memories. There are moments when I still expect to see my aunt walk through the door or hear her voice as she sings my name -“Shanny-Jean.” So many times, I have wanted to pick up the phone and tell her the latest news or hear her excitement over this hiking trip. I am sure she would have me on some sort of personal training routine for strengthening my glutes and core muscles (complete with the perfectly drawn stick-figures.)

I can no longer hear what my grandfather’s voice sounds like. We have recorded tapes with his voice but if I am being honest, it would make me even more sad to listen to them. He would have loved this hiking trip. Researching all he could about the mountains I will climb and helping me purchase the correct gear. He might have invented some sort of gadget for me to take. Or create freezed-dried humus-his homemade humus was the best.

Even though I can’t have them here on Earth, I carry them with me each day. I see them in butterflies, glass beakers, and in books. What they invested in me has outlasted their breath. They gave me adventure, courage, love of learning, and unconditional love.  I pour those things into my children hoping to leave them a similar legacy that out last my last breath.

They are coming with me on my hike. I am taking this picture in my pack because this is how I think of my grandfather and aunt in heaven. Auntie with her tour book in hand. Baba taking it all in, thinking about the next new thing to jump into. Smiling and laughing. Free of pain and in peace.

baba and auntie

 

78 Kind Things to Say to Your Kids

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Yesterday, I wrote about the power of words and how the loudest echos can be created from the quietest, smallest voice. Today, I want to challenge you to start looking for ways to use kind, powerful words with some of the smallest people we know- our children.

Words have a way of lasting years and years after they are said. When we speak encouraging words, we are giving our children an emotional boost of hope, support and confidence. Pray for opportunities and quiet moments to embrace and use those times to support and build up your children. Read Bible verses that speak to their identity in Christ.  Pray that God’s life-giving words and our kind words would root deeply into our children’s hearts. Root so deeply, that when they are faced with challenging and difficult situations they might sow the strength and confidence those words have grown.

Here are 78  “starter” phrases for you to use. They are not only for our smallest children, they work for our children who may have grown taller than us too. If speaking words of affirmation is difficult for you, try saying one or two words at a time and work up to speaking several each day. Like with anything new and with some practice, speaking encouraging words will start to feel easier to do and your children will benefit from your practice.  I would love to hear from you and add your ideas to this growing list.

  1.  You are loved.
  2. You make me smile.
  3. I believe in you.
  4. You are a hard worker.
  5. Can I help you?
  6. I’m sorry.
  7. Will you forgive me?
  8. I forgive you.
  9. You are creative!
  10. Great discovery!
  11. You are kind.
  12. You are a good friend.
  13. You are a good listener.
  14. I’m listening
  15.  Your ideas matter.
  16. You can say no.
  17. You make a difference.
  18. You belong!
  19. Here is a place for you.
  20. Tell me what you are thinking.
  21. Thank you for helping me.
  22. Would you like to help me?
  23. Thank you for trying.
  24. Great job!
  25. I like how you ______.
  26. I see you trying.
  27. You are brave.
  28. You can learn from your mistakes.
  29. Your mistakes do not define you.
  30. Keep up the good work!
  31. I like you.
  32. Thank you for being you.
  33. God made you special.
  34. You have a lot to offer.
  35. I like spending time with you.
  36. You are fun to be with.
  37. I am excited to see you try.
  38. You figured it out!
  39. Well done!
  40. Thank you for following directions.
  41. Thank you for sharing.
  42. I trust you.
  43. I appreciate you.
  44. Thank you for being honest.
  45. You are joyful!
  46. You are loving.
  47. Thank you for waiting.
  48. You are patient.
  49. You give the best hugs.
  50. I like when you hold my hand.
  51. Please sit next to me.
  52. I am grateful that God made me your mom.
  53. You have a great sense of humor.
  54. You have a sweet and gentle spirit.
  55. I will help you with that!
  56. What a fantastic idea.
  57. Let’s do it together.
  58. Good thinking!
  59. Thank you for answering me.
  60. That was a kind thing to do.
  61.  God gave you special gifts and talents.
  62. Let’s pray about it together.
  63. You are good at ______.
  64. You are important.
  65. Thank you for helping your friend.
  66. That is wonderful news.
  67. I am proud of you.
  68. You mean the world to me.
  69. I love you to the moon and back.
  70. You are beautiful inside and out.
  71. You made my day!
  72. You are generous.
  73. You are helpful.
  74. Don’t give up.
  75. That’s a great question!
  76. I learn new things from YOU
  77. I love your enthusiasm.
  78. I LOVE YOU!

 

Peacocks and Nuns

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One of the reasons why I love walking is the interesting things that I might see or the unique people I might come across. There are routes and roads that I have been down a million times before but I always manage to find something new to discover.  I make it my mission to keep my eyes open, searching for a sort of keepsake or souvenir from the day. I collect these mental images and memories like snapshots filling an imaginary photo album that documents all of my “journeys.”

There have been many interesting encounters. A lot of them involving birds. I have quietly ducked under a perched hawk, followed an Eastern blue bird off the road and into the woods, and one time I met a handsome peacock.

I was living on a small island then. The quiet island roads and spectacular ocean views made walking a gift and a treat. It was a glorious, sunny day. The sea breeze was salty, cool and refreshing. I did not have a care in the world or any particular place to be.

As I walked along,  I started to hear this strange click-clacking sound coming from behind me. There was nothing else on the road. No people, no houses, no cars. I turned around to see what it was. Coming up behind me was a power-walking peacock. One big, beautiful, blue peacock shimmering in the sun. As the peacock came up to me, it did not slow its pace but looked me squarely in the face and straight into my eyes as if to say, “Excuse me! You are blocking my way!”

A little taken back, that a bird could display such arrogant behavior, I moved out of its way  to watch that proud peacock pass me and continue his walk with his beautiful tail swaying behind him. I have always wondered what that peacock was doing or where he has heading. Even though I never came across him again, our chance meeting has left me with a lasting impression of peacocks.

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Then there are the people I meet. A skull-cap motorcycle rider, the UPS guy, groups of teenagers, and the three cheerful, preppy, older ladies who all look the same and walk their dogs together.

Yesterday morning was abnormally warm and the sun was peaking out from an overcast sky.  I laced up my sneakers, secured my ear buds in place and pumped up Toby Mac on my phone. Dance-walking down my driveway, I turned on to the side walk. The beat of the music took over my steps and provided rhythm to my thoughts.

I was about twenty minutes into my walk when something caught my attention. I noticed two people gracefully making their way down a side street. Their long, black clothing and head coverings looked out of place in my empty, quiet neighborhood. I stopped to “check” my phone, very intrigued to see two nuns quietly walking and talking in the middle of the street.  Maybe they were visiting friends? Maybe they were praying through the neighborhood?  Regardless of the reason, their presence provided peace. It made me happy to see them and I purposely stalled to say hello and tell them what a beautiful morning it was. After they went by (and I snapped a picture), I continued on my way with a smile and my heart full with gratitude that we live in such a diverse world that still contains hope and good things.

walking

All these encounters makes me wonder what lasting impression do I leave on people. How do I impact someone’s day?  Am I leaving a lasting impression of cheerfulness, friendliness or peace? Or is it one of pride and arrogance like my peacock friend?  Am I like the hawk? Are people ducking to get out of my way and avoid my talons? Or am I more like a blue bird leading others to new discoveries and encouraging people to take a new and braver path? Oh, I so hope that I am more like a blue bird or a peaceful nun.

Our world is full of beauty and adventure. It is filled with good people and people who may need and desire more goodness in their life. Open your eyes to see the beauty and the adventure. Open your eyes to see the people who need a lasting impression of love and hope. Discover what makes your heart sing and search your heart to find ways to bypass paths that should be avoided. Discover ways that your heart can lead you to help other people. Bravely explore and move forward. And help others do the same.