100 Kind Things to Say

I went to put my purse down and noticed the small puddle filling the center console of my van. My five-year old son had “given” me his cup of water, which really meant he had half-haphazardly placed it on the uneven tops of the odds and ends we keep in the tray. Now the cup was on its side, water trickling out near the straw. Soggy receipts were turning to watercolored prints. Drowned coins reflected in the shallow bottom of the compartment like in a small wishing pool.  

I took a deep breath and made a conscious effort not to say something snarky or say something I would regret. Yes, he was being impatient and had not wanted to wait for me to take his cup. Yes, my patience had been tested many times today.  Yes, this was one more thing to clean up. Yes, this was an minor inconvenience. But really this was just an unintentional accident and an opportunity to show a little grace.  

I started to mop up the water with some napkins I had just grabbed while we were at the coffee shop. I didn’t realize they would be used so soon. It was quiet in the van- a rare moment of silence. My son was thinking and watching. When the last napkin had been used,  he declared with admiration, “Wow, Mom! You are always prepared. Really, always!” These words seemed too big for his sweet little voice. A compliment so gracious it disarmed any lingering sour feelings. I had almost traded kindness and grace for irritation and annoyance, but I hadn’t. This time I hadn’t let my emotions hijack the situation. Kindness won! “Thank you, Bud! Mommy tries,” was all I could reply.     

Words…powerful little things that add up to big consequences. When we stop and think before we speak, we can change someone’s day.  (We can change our day.) I have no doubt if I had said some things I had initially been thinking during the water spill, it would have left a dark shadow over the hour. Instead, it turned a small incident into a moment of positivity. When we speak encouraging words, we are giving people around us an emotional boost of hope, support and confidence. We are building stronger relationships. 

About two years ago, I wrote a post called “78 Kind Words to Say to Your Children.” I thought I could do better than just 78 and came up with more things to say. So, here’s a new list- “100 Kind Things to Say.” Originally, I had thought to use this list to encourage my children but there are many things on this list that would encourage anyone- family, friends, and co-workers too. 

And one more note, some of us have a natural inclination or a gift to speak words of affirmation and encouragement. For others it can be difficult and takes practice. If you feel like it’s difficult, do not be discouraged. Try saying one or two positive, encouraging phrases at a time and work up to speaking several each day. Like with anything new and with some practice, speaking encouraging words will start to feel easier to do and the people around you will benefit from your practice.  

  1. You make me smile.
  2. I believe in you.
  3. You have great ideas!
  4. You are a hard worker.
  5. You make a difference.
  6. Can I help you?
  7. I’m sorry.
  8. Will you forgive me?
  9. I forgive you.
  10. You are loved.
  11. You are creative!
  12. Great discovery!
  13. I admire you.
  14. You are kind.
  15. You are a good friend.
  16. You are a good listener.
  17. I’m listening.
  18. I want to hear what you have to say.
  19. Your ideas matter.
  20. It’s your decision.
  21. You can say “no.”
  22. You belong!
  23. We need your help.
  24. Here’s a place for you.
  25. I like spending time with you.
  26. Tell me what you are thinking.
  27. Thank you for helping me.
  28. Would you like to help me?
  29. I see you trying.
  30. Great job!
  31. I like working together.
  32. I like how you______.
  33. It’s okay to be nervous or scared.
  34. You are brave.
  35. We can learn from mistakes.
  36. Mistakes help us grow.
  37. Keep up the good work!
  38. I like you!
  39. Let’s share.
  40. Thank you for being you!
  41. God made you special.
  42. You have a lot to offer.
  43. You are right!
  44. You are fun to be with.
  45. I am excited to see you try.
  46. You figured it out!
  47. Well done!
  48. Thank you for following directions.
  49. Thank you for sharing.
  50. I trust you.
  51. I appreciate you.
  52. Thank you for being honest.
  53. You are joyful!
  54. You are loving.
  55. You are helpful.
  56. Thank you for waiting.
  57. You are patient.
  58. You give the best hugs.
  59. I like when you __________.
  60. Please sit next to me.
  61. You have a great sense of humor.
  62. I can help you with that.
  63. I want to help.
  64. What a fantastic idea!
  65. What do you want to do?
  66. Let’s do it together.
  67. Good thinking!
  68. Thank you for answering me.
  69. That was a kind thing to do.
  70. You have special gifts and talents.
  71. You are a gift to others.  
  72. Let’s pray about it together.
  73. You are good at________.
  74. I can tell you really tried.
  75. You have a big heart.
  76. You have the best smile.
  77. You are important to me.
  78. Thank you for helping your friend.
  79. That’s wonderful news.
  80. Tell me more.
  81. I am proud of you!
  82. You mean the world to me.
  83. I love you to the moon and back.
  84. You are beautiful inside and out.
  85. You made my day!
  86. You light up the room!
  87. You are generous.
  88. Don’t give up!
  89. That’s a great question.
  90. You can try again next time.
  91. Let’s take a break and try again.
  92. It’s okay.
  93. It will get better.
  94. I’m here for you.
  95. You inspire me!
  96. You are a great example to others.
  97. I am a better person because of you.
  98. You teach me new things.
  99. I love your enthusiasm.
  100. I LOVE YOU!

December Acts of Kindness Calendar

Although kindness and charity should be given in every month, December brings a special focus to these things. It’s a month of reflection. An opportunity to focus outward instead of inward. A time to give rather than receive. If you are looking for a few ideas to practice acts of love, kindness and giving to others, check out our plan for December.

Each morning, our Kindness Elves, Amelia and Olivia, will suggest the daily act of kindness to complete as a family. There’s something for everyone on the calendar. Some of the ideas, like donating blood, are obviously for the adults (that’s the one that is going to stretch me the most!) Some of the ideas will take a little longer to complete than others. All of the activities can be done together with each other’s support and encouragement. 

Just a note…This calendar is not meant to add to the holiday hustle and stress. It’s not to give us one more thing to do. Rather, it is a reminder to slow down, gather around a table, have good conversations, create for and think of others as a family. 


They’re Here…. Kindness Elves and Advent Calendars

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Our family has done many things to celebrate the days before Christmas. We’ve eaten our way through chocolate advent calendars. We’ve counted down days with a chain of linked construction paper rings. And we’ve made daily ornaments with Truth in the Tinsel and inspired by Ann Voskamp’s  “Unwrapping the Greatest Gift.”  For the third year, our Kindness Elves have returned adding to our special Christmas traditions. Amelia and Oliver, come to America every Dec. 1 from England to help us spread kindness and think of others during the Christmas season.

I stumbled upon the Kindness Elves about a four years ago and fell in love with the idea. Created by a UK school teacher as an alternative to the “elf-on-the-shelf” tradition, Kindness Elves place the focus on positive, character-building activities while giving families opportunities to teach and practice acts of love, kindness and gratitude.

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Our Elves were shipped in their sweet, little home, complete with a working mailbox. Throughout the month they appear somewhere in our house with an introduction to the kids and notes suggesting an act of kindness to complete for the day. It is suggested to leave the elves besides an object needed for the day’s suggested activity. e.g. inside a mixing bowl ready to bake some cookies as a gift.

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Here are other ways we plan to use our elves as suggested by the creator of the Kindness Elves. I love the idea of the “Little Book of Big Kindness.”

  • When the elves see the children doing kind and lovely things, they leave a little note for them to find in the morning e.g. “Oh I loved it when I saw you sharing your new book with your little sister” or “you were very kind to help your Mummy load the dishwasher!” etc These notes can be collected into the Little Book of Big Kindnesses as a record keeping journal.
  • Some mornings they may wake up to find the elves have lined up their shoes, tidied their coats, got the breakfast things ready or fixed a broken toy etc. Modeling direct ways to be kind and helpful as a prompt for the children in the day.
  • Occasionally they leave a treat out as a thank you!
  • On the last day (Christmas Eve usually for us) the Kindness Elves leave a little goodbye letter, thanking the children for their wonderful stay and sharing so many lovely experiences together. They say that they might pop back throughout the year for birthdays or other special occasions and that they can’t wait to come again next Christmas!

One year, I only wrote a quick sentence on elf size heart notes. I punched hearts out of red paper. Here is a link to a sheet of heart templates to use if you do not have a punch. http://www.timvandevall.com/wp-content/uploads/Heart-Template-Printable.pdf  They are perfect elf size. 🙂

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Last year, my daughters took to being “pen pals” with the “elves.” Which obviously meant, we got to be pen-pals. I look forward to this the most. There is something special about writing and receiving a letter. It’s an act of kindness in itself. We wrote about stuff  we sometimes forget to talk about during the day- places we want to visit, dreams, hopes and wants. A few minutes of extra thought and care is worth seeing into the windows of my daughters’ hearts. And I’m taking it all in now, praying the little extra effort is making a clear path for open communication in the future.

The Kindness Elves are adorable and we will enjoy them, but honestly, they not necessary to complete acts of kindness this season. I will be sharing our calendar of Acts of Kindness in a future post. Until then, check out the following Acts of Kindness Advent Calendars and start sprinkling kindness today.

Acts of Kindness Advent Calendars and Ideas:

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http://www.coffeecupsandcrayons.com/random-acts-of-christmas-kindness-advent-calendar/

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http://www.muminthemadhouse.com/alternative-advent-calender-24-acts-kindness-kids/

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https://thechristmasangel.com/blog/activities/25-days-of-messages

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http://nourishingjoy.com/service-projects-for-kids-advent-calendar/

100-acts-of-kindness-for-kids-free-printable-in-post

http://www.coffeecupsandcrayons.com/100-acts-kindness-kids/