More and Less

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I have a very good habit of thinking of the perfect thing to say after the fact. This was the case as I drove home from the radio station on Thursday morning. I had been asked to be a guest on the “Samaritan Truth” segment of the show “In It Together with Lori Lynn Green.” This was a first for me and I walked up the steps to the second floor studio with my stomach twisted in a knot of excitement and anxious nerves.

Speaking on the radio is very different than delivering a prepared message. I enjoy getting up in front of people. It’s fun to interact with those listening. And although, I might not always follow my speaking notes to the letter, I like having my notes available as a dependable, helpful guide to remind me of the key points I want to make.

On the radio, you cannot see who is listening. There is limited audience interaction. Radio shows provide on-the-spot questions and answers and the conversation can change direction quickly all of which can be challenging.

I was nervous during the first segment but did my best to hide my anxiety. However, by the end of the second segment, I felt more comfortable, had found my confidence, and sharing became easy. Before I knew it the third segment was over and the hour had gone by. Lori Lynne wrapped up the show and our wonderful discussion on finding purpose and loving our neighbors. I was thrilled to have had the opportunity to share about MOPS and was honored to be asked to be on the show. It was a great experience and I was so glad to be part of it.

On the way home from the show, it didn’t take long for my thoughts to drift to what I said, or didn’t say. What I could have said and what I should have said. Ugh?? Why does that happen? (Does this happen to other people too?) Truth is, I was very happy with what I said. I did not regret anything. I only wished I had thought of more to add. The miles until I reached home decreased but the conversation going on in my head increased. Enough!! I shut down my self-talk.

Here’s the thing, there can always be more. More thoughts, more words, more regrets, more action, more skills, more, more, and more. Unless we are talking about love and Jesus, which we always need more of, I am kind of sick of more and I want less. Less stuff, less divisions, less lies, less violence, less hurt, less pain.

While I realize that it may not possible to live in one extreme or the other. I hope life can be a better balance of more and less. More love AND less hate. More forgiveness AND less division. More embrace AND less rejection. More hope AND less fear.

It all begins with an awareness, a little healthy self-evaluation and shift in perspective. We focus on and reflect the things we see and hear. Will our eyes reflect hope and light? Will our mouth speak of restoration and kindness to ourselves and others? When will we stop trying to control situations and outcomes and allow the One who created all things to weave our imperfect words and stories into His, the greatest story of all?

My short time on the radio station allowed me to meet some new people, work on a new skill set, and spread some awareness about things I am passionate about. I pray it was an encouragement to those who listened and I am praying for you too.

Yes, you, the one who is reading this blog post right now. If you beating yourself up over should-have-beens or could-have-beens, please stop. If there is something you tried that did not work out the way you thought, please try again. If you are you holding on to something that you should let go, please release it. If you are not being kind and patient with yourself, please start now. There is One who is more patient, kind and loving than you could ever know and He wants you to know that you are loved.

You do not have to be perfect and you are enough. Keep moving forward. Keep trying new things, learning, and shifting your perspective. I will be praying for you. Take heart and be encouraged!
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You can listen to our conversation here: http://www.lorilynngreene.com/loving-god-and-loving-people-2/  Please excuse my “ummms” in the first segment…I corrected myself in the second and third segments. What a great experience.

PS If you listen to talk radio, please call in or send an email. People hosting the show LOVE it!
 

 


Hesitation

I hesitated to start this blog.  Conversations with other moms, about mommy-blogs, produced chuckles and comments like:  “Why would she want to write that?” “How does she have time to write a blog? I barely have time to ..xyz…” Not wanting to be the receiver of those chuckles and comments, I laughed along and kept quiet my own desires to one day start a blog.

In the safety of a few friends, I have shared my thoughts about wanting to blog and in those conversations it was ME who chuckled and made the comments. “But who would want to read what I write?” “Do I really have something to say?” “Writing is not my strong point.”  Those dear, encouraging friends smiled, encouraged me to write, and assured me that they would read what I wrote. Time after time I have talked myself out of it, convinced that “blogging” was not for me. My stalling to be out of a lack in self-confidence and self-consciousness about sentence structure and grammar. (I’ll save the topic of my struggles with a Type-A personality for a future post.)

Days and months went by, but the desire to write and share my ideas persisted. Then came an opportunity to write a few paragraphs for a leadership website. I tried to ignore the opportunity. I tried to not think about what I could write about or the things I could say. I tried to convince myself that I was not a writer and someone better than me could write it. But the harder I tried to stop thinking about it, the more I thought about it and the only way I could get “it” to stop (what ever “it” was) was to sit down and type everything that flowed out of my mind and heart. It felt so good! Therapeutic!

After my initial word and thought “dump,” I took time to add and delete and improve my writing. It was like crafting but without the glue, ribbon, and paper. When the post was finished,  it was more than accomplishment, it was like something that had been stirring inside me was brought out and was staring at me on the paper (or I should say on the computer screen.) I know, that sounds very dramatic but that is exactly how I felt. I decided to send the passage in with no expectations, just thankful that I had accomplished the task. Long story short, the post was picked and posted to the website. And that small bit of writing is what gave me the confidence to write some more and start this blog.

I teach my kids that they should try new things and press on in difficulty. I tell them the more they practice, the better they will become. I also tell my kids that God made them perfect just the way they are, what others say or think should not change what they want to try or who they want to be (in a negative ways, of course.)

I want to write because it is a challenge for me. I know I have a lot to learn. It is a chance to improve myself in a new and interesting way and be an example to my children.  I want to write because excuses, hesitations, other people’s thoughts, and missed opportunities is not the way to fully live. This is an opportunity to take my own advice and practice what I preach one blog post at a time.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.- Lao Tzu