I wasn’t going to say something. I was trying to keep my mouth shut. But the coffee kicked in earlier than usual and gave me some extra caffeinated courage. The following words are not meant to criticize, only to offer another perspective.
When yesterday’s news story and pictures emerged of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge standing outside St. Mary’s Hospital proudly showing off their third child, they were met with much joy and the expected storm of comments and opinions. There were plenty of happy congratulations and joyful reactions but there were also a lot of opinions and statements that rubbed me the wrong way. That red dress! Her perfect hair! I didn’t look that good until three years after I had my baby! Oh, poor Princess Kate!
It made me wonder. How do we know that the Duchess of Cambridge was not completely happy and did not relish in that moment? How do we know that standing in front of the crowd did not remind her of how proud she was to be a princess, a wife, a mother, a woman? How do we know that the dress wasn’t picked out by the Duchess, for this exact occasion, for some special reason, and she couldn’t wait to wear it? And honestly, what new mom wouldn’t like her hair and makeup done?
Critiquing others online has become the newest, most easily accessed type of tabloid reading. We need to stop relating to each other by comparisons. Stop giving compliments with underlying tones of sarcasm, dripping with false empathy. We need to stop using our own experiences as the ONLY benchmark for what others should do, should say, and what they should look like.
Yes, maybe the comments and posts meant no harm. Yes, we absolutely have a choice to ignore, not to read and not to respond. And, yes, everyone has a right to their opinions (I am giving mine now.) But all this represents part of a bigger issue.
Words have become more accessible than ever and virtual platforms are available to anyone at anytime. I believe we need to choose our words more carefully than ever before. Words hold the power of life and death, of creating positive influence or gaining negative attention. Words gather people together and hold them attentive.
And ladies, we use our words A LOT! Younger generations of women are watching us, seeing how we interact, listening to the comparisons and the comments, forming their own opinions and reactions, and they are gathering and influencing their friends based on our example. So, let’s be good examples. Let’s practice pointing out the positive and affirming uniqueness. Let’s use our words for good influence so that our comments would be uplifting to others and celebrate people for who they are, no matter what we may think they are or the situation may be. Let’s be the positive change, one word at a time.
The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)